Link: Scalzi on Sith

By Allen Holt ⋅ May 20, 2005 ⋅ Post a comment

Since I have no idea when I’m actually going to get to see Star Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, I’m directing you now to John Scalzi’s review. Not only is Scalzi’s review as well-written and entertaining as the rest of his posts on The Whatever, but he’s recently done loads of research about SF movies in general as part of a book he’s been working on, so he’s well able to place the prequel trilogy in a greater context. And, based on my viewing of The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, I know we’re coming from roughly the same critical camp when he says things like:

George Lucas should not have been allowed near the business end of a script or a camera for any of these last three films, nor any other film in the future until the end of time. In Entertainment Weekly, Lucas says that he asked both Spielberg and Ron Howard to pick up the directing chores for him, and both said that he needed to do it himself. The only reason I can think of that they would have said such a damn fool thing is that they both must have seen the script of The Phantom Menace and have gotten severe stomach contractions at the mere thought of trying to navigate that crappy prose. Rumor has it that Tom Stoppard, of all people, was called in for a script polish on Sith, but let’s be honest and note that not matter how much you polish a turd, at the end of the day, all you’re going to get is a highly polished turd. Scriptwise, Sith is a turd which positively gleams.

Why, you might ask, will I not be able to see Sith for some time if I’m as big a Star Wars fan as I’ve always claimed to be? Because the wife and I have a limited allotment of babysitter time and we’ve already got that time for the near future spoken for: we managed to snag tickets to the special preview of Serenity in Providence next Thursday night. And as much as I love Star Wars, given the choice between Lucas-penned dialogue and characterization and Whedon-penned dialogue and characterization (especially four months before Serenity comes officially out)…well, there’s really not much choice.

Discussion

View Comments for “Link: Scalzi on Sith”

J. Allen Holt

Oh, don't worry...the more episodes you see, the better it gets. You get to know the characters better and better, too, and that's a large part of the appeal.

And once you've watched all the episodes, you can read the boatload of content we have about Serenity popping up here on the site. :)
Jay

Ok, you have goaded me into buying Firefly. Best Buy in Tampa was sold out but I snapped up the last set at Circut City. Michelle & I watched the first two episodes and I'll have to say it was pretty darned good. I'm not hooked yet but I did stay awake past 10:00, which is quite a feat for me.
Allen Holt

Jay, there's a Best Buy in Clearwater. Go down there--I can almost guarantee you they have it. Otherwise, go here:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000AQS0F/qid=1116855553/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-0154715-2960059?v=glance&s=dvd

NOW, Jay. I mean it. Leave work early and go now.

Michelle, I still haven't gotten to see Sith yet. I really, really, really, really, really want to very soon--I'll post my official review here as soon as I get the chance! In the meantime, revel in the knowledge that you've seen the final Star Wars flick before me. :)
Michelle

Ummm...what happened to the discussion about Sith? We just saw it and OMFG. I loved it. I'm not a professional SF critic or anything, but I freaking loved it! It brought everything together and even though you know what happens in the next three movies, you still can't take your eyes off the screen.

Go Yoda. Awesome as always. Obi Wan's character is MUCH better in this one than in previous two. Padme, still annoying, but puts in a good performance in the second half. Chewbacca is good for a short laugh at the end. Good intro to his character.

I guess I'll wait until everyone has seen it to say anymore.

Ok. Have you seen it yet?

Sigh...
Jay

Ok, Ok, I took the bait. I went to Blockbuster and proceeded to follow your instructions. However, I got hung up on #4- Locate a copy of âFirefly: The Complete Seriesâ?. I asked the help and they looked at me like I was from Mars. Not liking to take no for an answer I went against all that I believe in truged over to the dark side (aka Wal-Mart). I spent a good 10 minutes with Caroline on my shoulders pulling all of my remaining hairs while I scanned all of the box sets and I could not find it there either. I've been hosed. Thanks guys for pulling me in to your elaborate ruse.
Allen Holt

Now your reasoning is clear. I shall berate you no longer. For that, anyway. Smelled a bit of post-facto justification to me, but hey, I'm not one to throw stones.

Are you actually suggesting Jay and Michelle both buy copies of the DVD set? Is Whedon giving you a kickback or what?
Brian Mesick

I'll grant you #1, however the extra monies from #2 will be necessary to actually get the DVDs AND go see it in the theater (since tax in Palm Beach County, FL is now 6.5% the actual cost of the DVDs + 1 movie ticket will be something like $53.50, but a crappy retailer could charge more).

I supposed I should clarify that Michelle should ALSO complete the steps, as should everyone else reading this, who is over the age 18 and completely and utterly responsible for their own actions.
Allen Holt

I agree 100% with everything Brian said, but I need to make a couple corrections:

1. Movie don't come out 'til September 30th, not the 11th. Brian just teased you into thinking you could see it nineteen days before you actually can. Naughty Brian.

2. You can get the DVD set for about $40 plus tax (since it's only fourteen episodes, they don't charge as much as for a full season's worth). What that means for you: fewer assaults on the elderly! Unless you really want to beat on a few extra just for fun--you are in the Elderly Capital of the World.

Go to Best Buy before you go home tonight so you and Michelle can enjoy the wonders of "Firefly" as soon as humanly possible.
Brian Mesick

Seriously, Jay. Stop what you're doing. Nonono! Wait! Keep reading, stop everything else.

Ok, I'm going to give you some instructions. DO NOT do any of them until you have read them all, and the do them in order.

1- If you have $56(US) or more, continue to step number 2. If not:
1a- Rob someone, preferably elderly, but not at gunpoint. Just... y'know threaten them or ask nicely or something.
1b- Repeat 1a until you have about $56(US)

2- Go to the nearest retailer of DVDs.

3- Locate their Sci-fi DVD section.

4- Locate a copy of "Firefly: The Complete Series".

5- Take and purchase "Firefly: The Complete Series".
5a- DO NOT substitute stealing the DVDs for robbing the elderly. The fine people who made this show deserve to get paid.

6- Bring these DVDs to you home and watch them all.
6a- Breaks for bathroom and fetching food & beverages from the kitchen are fine, bathing and actual cooking are not. Feeding and changing of children is acceptable, as long as it is done while watching.

7- Watch them again, this time with all of the commentaries. Same rules from steps 6 and 6a apply.

8- Sign up here: http://browncoats.serenitymovie.com/serenity/ or ask me and I'll send you an invite to sign-up and take the 50 points. Score!

9- Wait, for the movie to come out. September 11th, 2005.

10- Spend any and all remaining monies you have seeing the movie over and over.

Ok. You have your instructions. Print them and staple to your scrotum if necessary.

Ready? GO!
Allen Holt

Serenity is the feature-film extension of the failed Joss ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Angel") Whedon TV space-western "Firefly," easily one of the best TV shows of the last twenty years. Don't let the "failed" part throw you off--Fox never gave the show a chance, broadcasting the episodes out of order and pre-empting it several times. My personal theory is that they realized it was going to be a really expensive show to keep on the air and did what they could to kill its ratings so they had justification for cancelling it.

The entire "Firefly" series--all fourteen episodes of it--are available on DVD, and I can't recommend them highly enough. Unlike "Buffy" and "Angel," both of which took some time to find their creative footing, "Firefly" hit the ground running and didn't let up. Every one of the episodes is great. The show gained a pretty large fan following, especially after its DVD release, so Universal ponied up to turn it into a feature.

Brian got to see the first sneak preview three weeks ago. Universal showed a really, really rough-cut version in ten cities--every show sold out almost immediately when they went on sale. The turnout and enthusiasm was so great they're having ANOTHER preview next week, and that's the one Terry and I will be going to. I'm unbelievably psyched--how often do you get to see a movie by one of your creative heroes four months before it hits theaters?

Go watch the DVDs now so you'll be up-to-date and excited when the movie comes out on September 30. :)
Jay

Why have I never heard of Serenity? I'm consider myself to be informed about most things but I'm outta the loop on this one.